It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
