it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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