This dress was meant to end up on your floor
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
