she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
