I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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