oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
