im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
