..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
