And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
