In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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