Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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