flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The air taste purple.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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