As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
