does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
