if you like me you must not know who I am
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
