hell yes lets make some ravioli
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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