u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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