Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
