farters have to be the big spoon...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
