3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I need to sanitize my soul.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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