theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
