Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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