Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Randomize
