i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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