that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
