you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
