To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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