Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
