so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
