How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
