Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
