I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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