I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
