we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
