But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
