Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
