Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
