Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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