He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Did you just see the Batmobile???
and i looked up. we had an audience...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
