this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
