Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
