waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Randomize
