New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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