She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
