and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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