Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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