Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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