i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
