Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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