I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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