i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
