there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
