i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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