So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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