Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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