You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
