i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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