she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
